Viva Ronpa!
by Epic Laughter
Summary: Trapped in Pester's volcanic lair with no idea of how they got there, the Villagers have to face the biggest challenge of all time. Professor Pester wants everyone to kill each other for laughs and there seems like there's no way out. Will they escape, or will they be trapped under Pester's thumb forever? Canon characters only.
1. Captured

"A… are you okay?"

Leafos heard a voice that sounded like it was miles away. All she could see was complete, inky blackness. She felt warm arms close around her and she was gently shaken. "P-please wake up! I-I duh-don't know where I am… I need help!"

"Ugh…" Leafos' eyes finally fluttered open. Her vision was completely blurred and there was a big blue smear right in front of her.

The smear let out a sigh of relief. "I-I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Who… are you…?" Leafos' voice was hoarse, as if she hadn't spoken in quite a while. She blinked a few times and her vision finally cleared. The person holding her was a young man who couldn't be older than twenty-five. He was quite attractive, with blonde hair that covered his eyes and a mask shaped like the head of a monkey. Leafos felt her cheeks grow hot, but she figured now wasn't the best time to admire this guy's good looks…

"M-my names Patch!" He nodded, a smile on his face. "I'm a doctor. It's nice to meet you, um…"

"I'm Leafos," Leafos introduced herself, smiling back at him.

"Can you stand?" Patch asked, the brow of his mask furrowing with concern.

"I can try…" With Patch's help, Leafos managed to wobble to her feet. Patch took his hands off of her and Leafos managed to stay on her feet, much to the happiness of both parties. "Wow… what _is_ this place?" Leafos looked around, biting her lip. They were in a fairly nondescript metal room with a wall that was completely _covered_ in photos of an overweight, red-clad man. On one side of the room was a great big set of doors that were rusted in several places. Leafos and Patch were the only two people in there.

"I think we should get out of here, I don't like the looks of this place…" With that, Leafos headed for the doors and pushed them open, Patch following closely behind her.

When the doors were finally opened, that's when Leafos and Patch saw _them._

The room the doors led to seemed to be a lounge. It had bright, colorful wallpaper, a plush carpet, and a whole bunch of cushioned chairs and comfy couches. On the chairs, on the couches, and leaning against the wall were a whole bunch of people, definitely more than ten. Leafos felt her heart sink when she didn't recognize the vast majority of them, but she perked up when she saw two masks she _did_ recognize.

"Leafos!" A chubby, cute woman quite literally flew over to Leafos and pulled her into a gigantic, smothering hug. Leafos laughed and hugged her back. "I was sooooo worried! Me and all of these people… we have no clue where we are or how we got here! Oh, I'm so happy you and Seedos are both here!"

"I'm glad you're here too, Storkos," Leafos broke the hug and leaned around Storkos, giving a little wave to a blue haired youth in the corner. He sheepishly waved back and resumed nervously wringing his hands.

"Wh-who are all of you?" Patch pulled off one of his gloves and nervously chomped on a thumbnail, his one exposed eye flicking around the colorful group of people.

"Well, since we're all stuck in here together, we might as well introduce ourselves…" A dark haired, stunningly beautiful lady rose from one of the couches, her armlike scarves crossing across her perfectly formed chest. Doc Patch felt his heart began to beat like a drum. He had never seen a woman that gorgeous in his whole entire life…! "My name is Gretchen. I'm a hunter." She tossed her ponytail over her shoulder and narrowed her swirling eyes at Patch as she looked him up and down. She seemed to approve and nodded a bit before saying. "Pleasure to meet you."

Patch thought her voice was like luxurious velvet… he had a bit of a dizzy spell before stumbling over to a chair and plonking down on it.

A boy with pretty eyelashes and a ridiculously colorful sweater vest spoke up next. He crossed his legs and flicked his bangs out of his eyes before shooting Leafos a million dollar smile. "Charmed. I'm Eddie Lizard," He rested his fingers against his chest. "I'm an emcee for my father's piñata shows. You've probably heard of me, my reputation precedes me." He chuckled, a glint in his purple eyes.

"No…" Leafos shook her head. "I never have."

Eddie deflated like a popped balloon. "Well… you don't have to say it so coldly…"

Next to Eddie was a girl dressed like a Kittyfloss. She grinned mischievously at Leafos and purred: "I'm Petula. I run an accessory shop for piñatas. I hope we get along."

Leafos smiled back at her. "I see no reason why we wouldn't! Nice to meet you, Petula."

Next was Leafos' blue haired brother. "Hello, I'm Seedos!" he said with confidence. He wasn't used to having so many pairs of eyes on him… it was kind of cool! "I'm a spermologist!"

An enormous, practically palpable silence fell over everyone in the lounge.

"A _what?"_ a boy dressed like a Fizzlybear sniggered.

Seedos promptly turned bright red and began spluttering like a lawnmower that couldn't quite start. "Wh-why does everyone look at me like that when I tell them what I do?! I study seeds! I've got a whole bunch right here with me!" He grabbed the straps of his great big backpack, the wide mouth of his mask splitting into a nervous grin.

"If you say so…" Petula mumbled.

Next was an odd-looking little man with a really tall mask and what appeared to be a dress made out of streamers. He pulled confetti out from underneath it and threw his arms in the air. "I'm the amaaaaaaazing Carrie Chewdini! I'm so happy to grace so many people with my presence… I hate to admit it, but not many people come to my magic shows…" He twirled his index fingers together, looking downward sheepishly.

"This isn't a magic show, Carrie…" Gretchen sighed. "This is… I'm not sure where we are…"

Carrie sniffed. "Doesn't mean I can't show off my magic. You have no taste."

Gretchen rolled her eyes and didn't even dignify that with a response.

Leafos turned her attention to a tiny, tiny girl with spiky auburn hair. She wore a poncho and a sunlike mask and seemed pretty enthused about everything.

"Wassup? I'm Sahari!" She saluted Leafos with an enormous grin. "Great to meetcha! I have a garden in the Dessert Desert. Hey, isn't this place coooool?" She bounced with excitement. "I think we all got taken here to be on some kind of TV show together! I'm sure it'll be _awesome!_ We'd make a great cast!"

A giant, muscular man placed one of his hands on top of Sahari's head. "Calm down. We'll find out soon enough."

Sahari stuck out her lower lip and crossed her arms beneath her poncho. "Hmph, you're no fun, Sparcticus."

Leafos blinked at Sparcticus, who easily towered over everyone in the room. She felt a little intimidated looking at him… luckily, Patch spoke up so she didn't have to.

"Um, and you are?" Patch asked, doing his best to avoid eye contact.

"Sparcticus," He gave Patch a curt little nod. That was all he had to say, apparently, and a girl with a striking mailbox mask piped up next.

"I'm Fannie!" She winked at Patch, who promptly retreated inside of his monkey helmet. "I work at the Post Office. I'm surprised I haven't seen y'all before; I remember every single mask that walks through my doors!"

"Hmm, I don't think we live in the same Village…" Petula scratched the back of her neck. "I'd remember you for _sure."_

"Why haven't you asked who _I_ am yet, lady?" a steamed, ridiculously cartoonish voice seethed. Leafos looked down to see a tiny piñata man glaring right up at her.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there!" Leafos took three steps back, holding her hands up in front of her.

"No one EVER sees me there…" The piñata man shook his head… which was basically his whole entire body. "My name is Jeffe. I used to run Piñata Central, you know, but everyone seems to forget that I'm a person of authority!" He turned up his nonexistent nose snootily.

"…you're not a person of authority _anymore,"_ a girl with ridiculously long hair commented.

"Grrrr!" Jeffe growled at her, his papery face rapidly turning red.

"Calm down, little guy," the girl snickered. "You don't want to set yourself on fire, do you?"

"Who do you think you are?" He placed his stubby little hands on his nonexistent hips and he glared up at the girl.

"My name is Maxime," She pointed her thumb at her chest and the corners of her mouth turned up into a smirk. "And I eat tiny piñatas like you for _breakfast."_

Even though Maxime was much, much shorter than her, Leafos couldn't help being intimidated by her. Something about the way she carried herself made Leafos think that she wouldn't hesitate to break someone's spine if they crossed her.

"That's nothing," a cold voice said from the corner of the room. Everyone turned to look at a skeletal man who was leaning against the wall… strangely, he was _floating,_ which threw Leafos for a loop. "I kill piñatas for a living. I can completely destroy a Limeocerous in one hit!"

"What kind of suh-sick person kuh-kills piñatas?" Doctor Patch spluttered, his knees knocking.

"Psh, a doctor like you would never know the joy of busting a piñata open," the skeleton guy shook his head. "Soooo boring. You should take up reaping. Maybe you'd get more of a personality."

"Ooooh!" Maxime giggled, tossing a long tress of hair over her shoulder. "You've got some _bite!_ I like you, dude! What's your name?"

"Dastardos," He folded his skeletal arms, giving Maxime a look of barely disguised contempt. "You're cute and all, but I think it would be best if you didn't bother me. That goes for all of you." Dastardos' eyes scanned the room like a prison spotlight.

"You think we're _all_ cute?" Fannie inquired, looking quite excited at that prospect.

Dastardos wrinkled his nose. "NO, I… you know what? Think what you want. Just… shut up." With that, he turned around and took great interest in the cracks in the wall.

Leafos shuddered audibly. Something about that guy rubbed her the wrong way…

Perched on the most luxurious chair in the room was an orange-clad older woman. She gave Leafos an elegant little wave and spoke in a voice so shrill it could crack windows. "I'm Lottie! _SO_ pleased to meet you~! I run a general store, when we get out of this place you should all come for some celebration shopping!" She rested her chin on her hands and winked at Patch, who retreated even further into his mask.

"Let's not and say we did," Storkos took a step back, which made Lottie frown intensely.

Last but not least was the boy in the bear costume. "Name's Bear and I am so ready to get out of here and leave you people behind," He huffed a sigh and shook his head around. "But hell knows when that'll be…"

Before Leafos could retort, the ceiling opened and a large television monitor unfolded from it, flickering to life. On the screen was a fat man with a big red mask, the same man whose visage decorated the room Leafos woke up in. He had a great big smirk on his face and looked quite excited to see everybody.

"Ooh, all of you are so cute with your little introductions! I'm sure you'll make great friendsie-wendsies!" He pursed his lips and fluttered his eyelashes, which gave everyone in the room the willies. "But that's getting boring! It's time for the _real_ event!"

"Who… are you?" Something about this guy rubbed Dastardos the wrong way. He was really familiar… but Dastardos couldn't quite put his finger on why…

"Why, I'm Professor Pester!" He giggled horribly, looking quite proud of himself. "Oooh, you don't recognize me, Dastardos? That means it worked…!"

"What worked?" Sparcticus intoned, giving Pester a suspicious look.

"Oh, never you mind!" Professor Pester waved Sparcticus off. "I'm here because I have some exciting news! All of you are trapped in my lair forever! Isn't that _great?"_

"WHAT?!" Everyone exclaimed, a feeling of dread hanging over the room. Professor Pester giggled again, quite thrilled with everyone's shocked expressions.

"Yes! All of you can live a lovely little communal lifestyle in here if you like! You can get married! Have babies! Whatever you want! You won't lack for anything and I'll make sure all of you are happy and healthy. Aren't I nice?" Professor Pester winked at everyone and their jaws dropped.

"There… there _must_ be a way we can get out of here!" Seedos squeaked, his knees knocking.

"Hmm… there is… but I don't think all of you will like it…" Professor Pester put his arms behind his back and bobbled around, an innocent look on his mask.

"We'll do _anything!"_ Bear barked, slamming his fist into the wall. "Just let us get out of here!"

"Hmm… I guess I ought to tell you guys this in person…" Professor Pester snapped his fingers and everyone heard the telltale _click!_ of a door unlocking. "Go down the hall and to the right. I'll be waiting for you in the auditorium!" With a laugh, the video turned off.

"I guess we have no choice but to listen to him…" Dastardos murmured as he headed out the door. Everyone grumbled in agreement and followed him to the auditorium. Once they got there, they were greeted by Professor Pester lounging on a giant throne on the stage, a glass of wine in his hand.

"Way to keep me waiting!" Professor Pester took a long drink from his glass. "Tardiness isn't a good trait, you know! Tsk-tsk!"

"Just tell us how we can get out of here!" Eddie exclaimed, sweat pouring down his pretty face. "I can't take much more of this!"

"I bet all of you are wondering what's going on…" Pester took another, deeper sip from his glass, eyeing the wary group of people. "Well, I've got the answer for you right here…"

"Spit it out," Dastardos glared at Professor Pester so intently that Seedos expected him to burn a hole through Pester's mask.

Professor Pester smirked and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, an enormous banner that read "VOLCANO DEATHFEST!" unfolded above Pester's head.

Pester put down his glass and stood on his chair, throwing his arms in the air. "You're all trapped, and the only way out is to _kill each other!"_

Everyone went completely silent, not believing a word that was coming out of Pester's mouth. Maxime finally piped up: "This is a joke, isn't it? Is it April Fool's Day? Come on, man, this isn't funny!"

"Oh, that's where you're wrong, my dearest Maxime," Professor Pester sighed, sauntering forward with his hands on his hips. "All of you have to kill each other in whatever spectacular fashion you can come up with! You can use whatever you like as a weapon and earn yourself a ticket out! Not to mention you'll be entertaining me and my band of Ruffians!" Professor Pester covered his mouth and giggled. "Uhuhu, my little students are all _very_ excited!"

"No way, we'd _never_ kill each other!" Leafos protested, clenching her fists. Everyone nodded in agreement, apart from Dastardos, who was giving Pester a thousand yard death stare.

"Ahh, that's what you'd like to think, but you never know!" Pester waggled a finger at Leafos. "You could have a cold hearted murderer among you right now! Like that tough little Maxime. She seems like she'd slit a few throats if it kept her alive!"

Maxime's tan skin went sheet white and she looked down at her feet, feeling everyone's judgmental eyes on her. Why'd he have to single _her_ out?

"Or that big, tough Sparcticus!" Professor Pester's voice was patronizing. He rested a hand on his cheek and fluttered his eyes at Sparcticus. "He could bust someone's head using only his thick, manly thighs! Now that's something I'd like to see…"

Dastardos reacted with disgust to that little observation. Sparcticus ground his teeth, but stood his ground.

"And what of Carrie Chewdini?" Pester put his hands behind his back, bobbling around with a smirk on his face. "I'm sure he'd have no problem making one of you disappear!"

"Why you…!" Carrie Chewdini bum rushed the stage, his eyes flashing with anger. "NO ONE accuses me of being a murderer!"

"Uh-uh-uh! I wouldn't if I were you…" Professor Pester nodded to one of his Ruffians, who rushed backstage. Carrie finally managed to haul himself onto the stage and he rushed towards Pester at top speed. He wasn't sure what he was going to do; all he wanted was to make Pester _pay_ for putting them all through this!

The Ruffian emerged from backstage, a long, thin, elegant sword in his hands. He tromped up to Carrie Chewdini and, just as the tiny magician was about to leap upon Pester, shoved the sword right through his back.

"Ooooh, marvelous!" Professor Pester touched his hands to his cheeks as Carrie Chewdini collapsed to the ground, his blood splattering all over the stage and gurgles of death bubbling up from his throat. Professor Pester looked at the audience and teared up a bit when he saw just how beautiful all of their horrified faces were.

"Someone _do_ something!" Sahari exclaimed, gawking at Carrie. Carrie's skin had gone paper white and he was doing his best to pull the sword out of his chest, but his strength was fading away.

"He's getting blood EVERYWHERE!" Lottie shrieked, covering her blue eyes. "I've never seen anything so horrifying!"

"Th-there's nothing we can do…" Patch was the only person not disturbed by the blood soaking Carrie's confetti-dress and the floor all around him. As a doctor, Patch has had to deal with all sorts of lovely body fluids, blood being one of them. "Cuh-Carrie is gone… or he will be…"

Storkos barely suppressed the urge to fly onto the stage and slug Pester in the face. She knew if she did, she was as good as dead.

_That could be __me__ bleeding out on the floor…_ She shuddered at the very idea of it.

After much suffering, Carrie finally breathed his last. Pester loudly hummed the funeral march as his four gremlin-like Ruffians took the skewered Carrie Chewdini away.

"One down…" Pester whirled to face the audience, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Fifteen to go. Well, now that that's out of the way… there's something else I need to tell you bastards!" Professor Pester pulled a big red button out of his pants. "This here is my trusty execution button! After a murder is committed, all of you _must_ attend a trial. At the trial, you need to figure out who the killer is. Once you do… they will be killed in a _spectacular_ fashion, right in front of all of you!" Professor Pester giggled. "Oh, just the thought of it makes me tingle all over!"

"And…?" Seedos asked, biting his lip for a moment before saying: "What if we _don't_ figure out who the murderer is…?"

"I was hoping you would ask that!" Pester sniggered. "If you give a wrong answer, everyone _except _the murderer will die, and the successful murderer will get to go home, safe and sound!" Pester sighed, sitting back down on his throne and putting his feet up. "A happy ending for all!"

Leafos started a bit when she felt someone grab her hand. She looked over and saw that it was Storkos, who was shaking. Leafos felt her heart sink; all this time she thought her little sister was completely fearless.

_Anyone would break at the thought of death…_ Leafos gave Storkos' hand a reassuring squeeze. She needed all the support she could get.

"There's one last thing before I send all of you off to your rooms!" Pester flicked his wrist at the crowd. "Check your pockets. All of you have a special electronic identification card. Don't lose it!" With that, Pester grabbed his drink, stood up, and moved behind the curtains without so much as a goodbye.

Leafos fished in her pocket with her free hand and, sure enough, there was an ID card with her name on it. She let go of her sister's hand to play around with it. Surprisingly, it had bios of every last person who was stuck with them, even Carrie, who now had a huge red X over his little pixellated portrait. Leafos poked Patch's face and a more detailed picture of him came up, captioned with: "The kindhearted local doctor. Wouldn't harm a Taffly… or _would_ he?"

Leafos wasn't sure whether to laugh at these dumb bios or not. They were like something from the website of a stupid horror movie!

"Hey!" Sahari exclaimed. "This thing has rules on it!"

"Really?" Lottie hovered over Sahari's shoulder in hopes of sneaking a peek.

"What are you waiting for, shorty?" Bear folded his beefy arms. "Read 'em!"

Sahari cleared her throat and began to read the rules, everyone gathering around her and looking at her expectantly.

"One, there is no time limit. You can live happily and peacefully for as long as you like.

Two, you are forbidden to enter certain places between ten PM and seven AM.

Three, you can only sleep in one of the personal rooms that were prepared for you. Sleeping anywhere else is forbidden.

Four, there are no restrictions on murder investigations.

Five, no violence against Professor Pester, his monitors, his posters, his Ruffians or the cameras. Ignoring this rule is punishable by death.

Six, all outside weapons have been seized from you. You may use whatever you can find in this building as a weapon.

Seven, if you kill one of your friends, you may leave. However, you must not be found out, or you will be executed.

Eight, more rules may be added at any time…"

Sahari looked up and looked at the grim expressions of the others. "That's everything…"

"This… this is _insane…"_ Storkos breathed.

"That's an understatement…" Leafos choked back tears.

"No one's gonna kill no one!" Bear stomped a foot. "Bear will _tear you apart_ if you even THINK about killin' someone else! Got it?"

"Same here," Gretchen said with a little sigh. "I can't exactly say I trust all of you, considering we just met… but if we're going to get out of here, we need to work together. Does anyone have any ideas?"

The room went completely silent and Gretchen huffed. "I thought so…"

Uneasiness hung in the air as everyone looked at one another.

There _had_ to be a way out of this place… right?


	2. The Bribe

Pester wasn't joking when he said that no one would lack for anything.

Maxime had entered her room and was surprised to find it was decorated just to her tastes. Her dresser was fully stocked with clothes and there were posters of huge wild piñatas on her wall, along with a framed, enormous photograph of her favorite Piñata Island band, Haunted Hoghurt.

_That Pester guy must really want us to stay here…_ Maxime thought as she brushed her long, shiny hair while standing in front of her vanity. The room was complete with a queen sized bed and a bathroom with one of those square tubs Maxime liked so much. It even had water jets! Professor Pester was spoiling every last person in his "care."

"No one's gonna actually kill anyone else… right?" Maxime asked her reflection. It didn't have an answer, just like Maxime expected. She sighed and moved backwards, flopping down onto her soft bed.

"It couldn't hurt to get a couple more hours of sleep…" Maxime grabbed her extra pillow and clutched it to her chest, closing her eyes and drifting off to dream land…

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

"Is everyone here?" Leafos asked. She was sitting at the head of a red and black table in a grand dining room that wasn't too far from the hall that was lined with everyone's bedrooms. Before everyone went to bed the night before, they had all agreed to meet at breakfast every morning.

Patch mouthed numbers as he counted everyone in the room. He frowned and said "Thirteen… we're missing Jeffe and Maxime."

"I'll go get them," Gretchen raised her hand up into the air. "Just give me a moment. It won't be long." Without waiting for Leafos to agree, Gretchen got up and sauntered towards the dormitory hall.

Patch sighed as he watched her go. "She's so responsible…"

Leafos couldn't help rolling her eyes. "I just hope Maxime and Jeffe are okay…" she admitted as she looked down at the tablecloth. "Considering the situation… one of them could be hurt, or worse…"

"No way anyone's killed anyone else," Bear shook his head. "We would have heard screamin'!"

"He has a point!" Fannie nodded her mailbox head.

Despite Bear's attempt at reassuring the group, everyone couldn't help feeling a bit uneasy.

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

Jeffe was feeling horrible.

Professor Pester must have had it in for him… he had played a sick joke on the little piñata man, filling his room with candy and sweet-shaped furniture and piling up the best candy money could buy in the corner of the room. Jeffe had _hated_ candy ever since the Incident that had made him become what he is today. When he was human man, he had gobbled up candy by the pound, until one day it turned him into a tiny little piñata! Ever since then, he had lost his job, his wife left him, and he had been ridiculed by every person he came across. Jeffe thought that piñatas were supposed to be completely beloved by all!

_I guess no one has room in their heart for talking piñatas…_ Jeffe groused, folding his stubby little arms. _I blame that stupid TV show. Ugh, who __made__ that crap? I would really like to kill them._

Everyone who was stuck in the volcano had decided to meet for breakfast, but the sickeningly sweet smell of this candy made Jeffe lose his appetite. If he so much as looked at a piece of food, he'd probably dry heave.

Suddenly, Jeffe heard several firm knocks on the door to his room and had a small heart attack. "Wh-who's there?" he spluttered. _Man, it had been __years,__ and he still wasn't used to his high-pitched, cartoonish voice._

"It's Gretchen," a husky, sexy voice said from the other side of the door. Jeffe straightened his hat and scarf and stood up straight. "Why aren't you at breakfast?"

"I, uh, I'm not feeling well!" Jeffe feigned coughing. "Let everyone know that they can eat without me! I'll be fine!"

"Okay… I'll send that Patch guy to your room later, all right?" Gretchen said.

"Yes, please do!" Jeffe nodded vigorously. After he said that, he heard the sounds of Gretchen walking away and breathed a sigh of relief. "Hmm…" he wondered aloud as he approached the pile of candy. "I wonder if there are any matches in this wretched place…"

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

Gretchen returned to the dining hall with a very sleepy looking Maxime in tow. "Jeffe is sick," she stated plainly before returning to her seat. "So… he won't be joining us."

"That's terrific," Dastardos snorted. "Just looking at him is enough to make me sick to my stomach."

"Agreed," Maxime said with a yawn. "Let's dig in before the thought of Jeffe makes us _all_ ill."

Everyone began to eat their food, barely tasting it due to their uneasiness. The only person who wasn't eating was Dastardos, who was uncomfortably shifting around. He was incapable of eating because of his "death" quite a while ago. No one was really paying much attention to him, though.

"I think the fact that no one's died yet is a good sign," Sparcticus admitted after swallowing a mouthful of crepe. "We all just met, but I'm happy we seem to trust each other. I knew none of us were murderers-OW!" Sparcticus exclaimed, glaring at the person who just pinched his arm. "What was _that_ for?!"

"For being an idiot!" Sahari glared up at him. "Don't tempt fate! We barely know these people! You might be giving them ideas!"

"Really…?" Sparcticus bit his lip and surveyed everyone who was sitting at the table.

"Hey, I'm no murderer…" Gretchen held up her hands. "Don't look at me like that."

Everyone at the table murmured in agreement. That did nothing to deter Sahari's concerns, though, _saying_ you weren't a murderer was easy. A chill settled in her gut and she pushed away her plate. She wasn't the only one; that Eddie guy couldn't eat a single bite either. Eventually everyone's appetites dwindled away and they began putting away their plates.

"Hey, Doctor Patch?" Once everything was cleaned up, Leafos approached the good doctor and tugged on his sleeve. "What do you make of that Dastardos guy?" She had to lower her voice; he was lurking in the corner of the room and who knew how good his hearing was…

"Who?" Patch asked. Leafos stabbed a finger in Dastardos' direction and Patch audibly shuddered. "O-oh. _Him."_

"Something about him just rubs me the wrong way…" Leafos admitted, briefly biting her lip before adding: "No one should look like that. I mean, he _floats!_ And he's impossibly thin… he looks like a ghost…"

Dastardos noticed Leafos staring at him and gave her a Look. Leafos gasped and looked away, feeling her heart freeze. It was too late, though; Dastardos floated over and grabbed her by the chin, turning her face towards his.

"Listen up, _missy;_ I know what you're thinking. That I'm a murderer and a creep, right? Well, let me tell you something. _Everyone_ in here has a little murderer in them. I bet even you think about who you can kill at night just so you can get out and go home," Dastardos tilted his own chin upwards, glaring at Leafos with all he had. "I'm not going to die. I _can't_ die. Nothing can hurt me. So if you're thinking about killing me, you can just forget about it." With that, Dastardos turned away and began to float off, but stopped to look over his shoulder. "Watch your step around me. I won't hesitate to kill any of you."

Leafos felt the blood drain from her face and opened her mouth to retort, but before she could Bear grabbed Dastardos by his scarf and slammed him up against a wall.

"Did Bear hear you threatenin' a girl?!" Bear hissed through clenched teeth. "How can you call yourself a man?! You're _sick!_ Bear doesn't want to see you looking at anyone funny or so help-NNNNNGH!" Bear was cut off when Dastardos smirked and phased through Bear like he was nothing.

Everyone gasped at Dastardos' feat of ghostliness. He looked over his shoulder at Bear and grinned the most terrifying grin Leafos had ever seen.

"You're an idiot," Dastardos tossed his scarf over his shoulder and floated off to his room, humming a creepy little song.

"He's… he's not entirely human, is he?" Eddie said quietly, gnawing on a fingernail.

"Bear's… Bear's gonna keep an eye on him…" Bear shuddered, grinding his teeth together as he rubbed his arms, trying in vain to get the warmth back into his body.

"Me too," Sparcticus took off his jacket and draped it over Bear's shoulders. Bear nodded at Sparcticus gratefully. "I think all of us should."

"If… if he can go through people like that… does that mean he can go through walls?" Sahari had been fighting off her fear since she woke up in this place, but her voice was audibly shaking. "He could kill any of us easily if he did that!"

"At least he'd be easy to point out in a trial if he did something like that…" Gretchen observed. "I hate to say it, but we won't be getting rid of him unless he kills one of us first."

"What's stopping him from going on a killing spree at night and killing _all_ of us?!" Lottie tore at her bandana, her eyes bulging.

"Glad you asked, Miss Lottie!" A TV monitor in the corner of the room flickered on, revealing Pester, who was smiling cheekily at the camera with his chin resting on folded hands. "I just added a new rule as a safeguard against that stinker Dastardos! A-hem!" Professor Pester took out a big scroll and unrolled it. "You are only allowed to kill one person during your stay here! No more than that! If you kill more than one, you will be executed without a trial!"

"Question!" Maxime raised her hand and waved it around like an excited kindergarten student.

"Yes, gorgeous?" Pester purred.

Maxime shuddered at Pester's little flirtation, but quickly regained her bearings. "What if we kill someone in self-defense after we already murdered someone? Er, not that I plan on killing anyone!" Maxime held up her hands when she saw that everyone was looking at her with horror.

"Hmm… I guess that could be an exception!" Pester sighed. "Oh, where's the fun in that…?" He took out a pen and scribbled something else down on the scroll.

"Oh, that's right, there's something else I wanted to announce!" Pester looked up from his writing, smirking at the camera. "Come on down to the auditorium! I need to tell you this in person. Toodles!" With a quick little wave, the monitor turned off.

"Oh, God… what could he want now?" Storkos pinched the bridge of her mask's nose.

"Better go find out…" Seedos huffed a sigh. "I'm sure this can only end in tears."

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

After a few minutes, everyone gathered in the auditorium, minus Dastardos, who couldn't be bothered. Jeffe had to be practically dragged out of his room and was now sitting in the corner of the crowd, his stubby arms folded and a pout on his face.

"Hello, my friends!" Pester held out his arms, his tone friendly. "You all look absolutely delightful! Hey, Gretchen, can I have some fries to go with that shake?" He winked at the huntress, who squinted at him.

"Screw off," she folded her arms and pointedly looked away from Pester.

"Raaaaaawr! A feisty one!" Pester was practically drooling.

"Suh-stop messing with Gretchen and juh-just tell us whuh-what you called us in huh-here for!" Patch struggled to speak, very intimidated by Pester's presence. Their captor's presence was all-consuming.

"Wuh-well, I told a little fuh-fuh-fib!" Pester childishly stuck his tongue out at Patch after he mocked him and Patch's entire face turned red as a tomato. "I actually have two announcements!" Pester held up two fingers. "First…" Pester pointed to the left curtain and it pulled back to reveal a macabre sight.

Pester had set up a bunch of pointy stakes on that side of the stage. Most of them were empty, but on the leftmost stake was the blood spattered mask of Carrie Chewdini.

Fannie squealed and covered her eyes and the rest of the crowd gaped in disbelief.

"After someone dies, I'm going to put their mask up here as a keepsake and a reminder!" Pester spun around one of the poles joyously. "It's modern art! And a wonderful memento of my great victory! I'm sure each death will be _amazingly_ entertaining!" Pester threw his head back and beamed at the audience, still holding on to the pole.

"That… that's _sick!"_ Storkos exclaimed.

"Masks are our identity!" Leafos protested. "Putting them up as trophies… that's _psychotic!"_

"Ahh, but did you forget? _I'm _psychotic, my dear!" Pester spun around the pole once more before letting go and leaning forward, winking lewdly at Leafos.

Leafos shut her mouth. She couldn't argue with that.

"And the other thing… you guys have been so cute with your friendship and all that, but I'm getting _sooooo_ bored! I want to stoke the fire, so I'm going to offer the next person to commit a murder a _faaaaaaabulous prize!"_ Pester gestured to the right curtain. "Show them what they can win, Ruffian Three!"

The curtain peeled back and revealed a glittering, gleaming sight that was practically blinding.

It was an _enormous_ amount of Chocolate Coins, each pile practically to the ceiling. Leafos had never seen that much money in her _life,_ let alone all in one place!

Lottie made a noise that sounded almost orgasmic, drooling as she rested her hands against her cheeks.

"The person who gets away with their murder will receive all of this money and _more!"_ Pester giggled. "I have over fifty million Chocolate Coins in my coffers, and I'm willing to give it all away to the successful culprit!"

"Hah, you think money can make us go nuts?" Bear snorted. "Bear may be poor, but he ain't stupid! Bear wouldn't kill no one for five hundred million CC!"

"Double negative!" Pester pointed both index fingers at Bear. "You _would_ kill someone!"

Bear's face turned purple with rage. "You… you all know what Bear meant!"

"No… _no!"_ Lottie covered her eyes. "I _can't_ die! That amount of money isn't worth risking death… but it's close…" She didn't sound like she meant that. Everyone was starting to grow quite a bit suspicious of the former shopkeeper…

"I'm a hunter," Gretchen touched a hand to her chest. "I can make that much money in a year with enough expensive contracts. I don't need to kill for it."

"Oh, sweetie, sign me up for _that_ profession!" Lottie drooled.

"You're too old," Gretchen said flatly, which made Lottie cry out in disbelief.

"That's what you _say…_ but who knows what all of you are thinking?" Pester snickered, walking back a few steps. "Class dismissed!" He held up his arms and the curtains closed around him.

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

That night, Gretchen sat awake in her room, going through the bios in her electronic ID card. She had to study these people as much as possible to determine which ones were threats.

_Name: Dastardos_

_Age: Unknown_

_Bio: Not much is known about this mysterious reaper. He kills piñatas for fun and has a cruel sense of humor. I'd watch my back around him if I were you!_

Gretchen snorted. Of all people to get stuck in here with, it had to be with a psychotic piñata murderer who was unable to be killed. How could the others even sleep at night? Even Gretchen was afraid, even though she hated to admit it to herself. She kept glancing at her door, expecting to see Dastardos approaching her with his mask twisted into a sneer, holding a blunt weapon above his head, ready to bash her brains in.

_Name: Carrie Chewdini_

_Age: 43_

_Bio: A magician who is famous all over the Island! He's cowardly, but would he kill someone…? I guess not, since he's the dead one now!_

One of Gretchen's eyebrows arched. Pester updates the bios after people die…?

_Name: Maxime Diminuto_

_Age: 19_

_Bio: Don't let her cute face fool you! This girl is hot tempered and impulsive! Maxime seems mighty capable of killing a man twice her size!_

_Name: Seedos_

_Age: 16_

_Bio: Rumor has it that Seedos lived all alone in a swamp. He's a weirdo whose only friends are seeds! Someone like that __**must **__have a twisted mind!_

_Name: Eddie Lizard_

_Age: 17_

_Bio: A showman by heart, the flamboyant Eddie Lizard is great at putting on a show! If he gets executed, it'll be the most amazing thing you'll ever see!_

_Name: Gretchen Fetchem_

_Age: 30_

_Bio: A huntress, Gretchen is capable of catching any piñata, no matter the size. She's wrestled Cocoadiles and subdued Roarios; she'd have no trouble killing someone!_

Gretchen's stomach knotted, but only a bit. Pester was definitely _trying_ to make people suspicious of each other! It was absolutely disgusting.

"I'm going about this all wrong…" Gretchen put down her ID card, undoing her ponytail and letting her long dark hair fall down over her shoulders. "I shouldn't be trying to figure out who's going to kill someone. I need to bring everyone together… I need to make sure _no one_ commits any murders!"

Gretchen put her mask back on and burst outside, raising her voice. "Everyone! Come out into the hallway RIGHT NOW! I have an important announcement to make!"


	3. In the Kitchen

"I want to be your leader," Gretchen announced to the pajama clad crowd in front of her.

"Leader? What do we need a leader for?" Petula asked, planting a hand on a hip and sticking it out. "We're not a society or anything. We're just trying to get by!"

"We need to be organized if we want to get out of here without any more casualties," Gretchen folded her arms over her chest. "I'll make sure all of you are safe and that no murders are committed. We already lost one person… and though we didn't know Carrie Chewdini well, I'm saddened that we lost someone so soon. I'll do my best to protect all of you and keep tempers from flaring. I don't want to lose another person…" Gretchen frowned at the very idea of it.

Patch's eyes widened with approval. "Wuh-we can all work together and search for a way out! A window, a door, an air vent… anything!"

"Yeah, an air vent… that would be helpful for most people…" Storkos sighed as she looked down at her bulging belly.

"Pester can probably hear us!" Sahari cut in, shushing everyone else. "We shouldn't be discussing-"

Sahari was interrupted by a nearby monitor springing to life.

"Hello, my lovelies!" Pester grinned at the crowd. "Yes, I heard _everything_ you said. And it's all right; go nuts! Unravel the mysteries of this place! I don't care; I _know_ you won't get out!"

"That's what _you_ think," Gretchen retorted. "This place _must_ have an exit. There's no way it doesn't."

"Well-oops, almost spilled the secret!" Pester covered his mouth, smirking. "I'm not even going to give you the teeniest of hints!" He shook his finger at the group, grinning cheekily. "Get back to bed! Staying up late is bad for your skin!"

With that, the monitor went completely black.

"I hate him so much," Sahari snarled.

The monitor flicked on again for just a moment, revealing Pester flipping the bird right in Sahari's direction.

"Hey, right back at you, douchebag!" Sahari stuck her middle finger up at Pester's image.

Pester stuck out his tongue before the screen turned off again.

"Huh-hey…" Patch observed, twiddling his fingers. "Where's Duh-Dastardos?"

"He probably couldn't have been bothered to come out," Gretchen sighed, tossing a hunk of hair over her shoulder. "I'll tell him about my intentions in the morning. Everyone, get back to sleep."

"Yuh-yes ma'am!" Patch saluted Gretchen, smiling like a goof before heading back to his room. Everyone else followed suit, entering a fitful, restless sleep.

Would Gretchen actually be able to protect them…? Who knew?

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

Fannie, Petula, and Sahari ended up waking up a bit earlier than the others. They all entered the hallway at the same time, Petula clad in one of the many gorgeous dresses Pester had put into her closet. Sure, they were given to her by that slimy douchebag, but she couldn't deny the dresses were beautiful… it would be a _crime_ not to wear them!

"So… uh… you two are awake too?" Sahari said awkwardly, tapping her fingers against each other. She wasn't sure how to talk to these girls… they seemed a little strange, especially Fannie, but it couldn't hurt to make alliances in a situation like this.

"Duh we are," Petula snorted, folding her arms. "What do you want?"

"I was actually wondering…" Sahari put her hands behind her back and smiled sheepishly at Petula and Fannie. "I wanted to go exploring, but I thought it wouldn't be safe to go alone because of the whole murder thing…"

"Hehehe, no one's gonna get murdered, silly Sally!" Fannie waved her hand at Sahari, who glared for a moment.

"It's Sahari," she corrected. "And you don't know that for sure."

Fannie frowned intensely. "Well, you don't have to be so negative!"

"Forget it," Petula held up a hand to silence Fannie. "You know what, Sahari? Sure. I'll go with you. It'd be nice to get a better feel for this place…" she admitted, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.

"I-I'll come too, then!" Fannie held up a fist, a look of determination on her mailbox mask.

"The more, the merrier!" Sahari was quite happy now and she practically skipped down the hallway. "We won't get pursued by a killer! Probably."

Fannie squealed. "Don't even joke about that!"

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

"What the heck is this…?" Petula gaped at the sight before her.

It was an enormous, winding staircase… but it was completely blocked off by a gate that wouldn't move no matter how hard the three girls pulled.

"There's a whole entire second floor, it seems!" Sahari gave up on the gate and did her best to catch her breath. "But why is it blocked off…?"

There was a monitor directly above the grated staircase, which crackled to life as if on cue, making Fannie scream in shock.

"Is my face that ugly…?" Pester's image pouted.

"Yes," Sahari planted her hands on her hips. "What are _you_ doing here, Pester?"

"There's a way to unlock the gate, but I'm not gonna tell you!" Pester waggled a finger at Sahari. "You'll definitely get to see the second floor soon enough… unless-" Pester covered his mouth again, giggling like a deranged schoolgirl. "Oooh, I keep almost spilling secrets! I'm not going to do that again, don't worry, ladies~" Pester beamed at the three girls. "Don't poke your nose too far into my business! Remember, I'm watching you, so if you try to tamper with any cameras or mess with any of my posters…" Pester slashed a finger across his thick, fat neck. "You're going the way of Carrie Chewdini!" The monitor turned off, leaving the three girls shaking like leaves.

"Uuuugh, he totally rubs me the wrong way!" Petula hugged herself, biting her lip.

"He can't hurt us unless we break his little rules," Sahari snorted. "Let's just be extra careful around those stupid posters of his!"

"Mmm-hmm…" Fannie nodded, too scared to speak lest she upset the man who was keeping them all captive.

The three of them walked down the hallway and past the dining hall, finding a small room with a metal door.

"What's this, I wonder…" Sahari thought aloud, grabbing the doorknob and turning it.

Inside the room was a fully equipped kitchen containing everything a master chef would dream of and more. The room was _massive,_ with pots and pans of all sizes, a futuristic looking stove, a walk-in refrigerator, and even an…

"Ice cream maker!" Sahari exclaimed, running towards the machine with a big grin on her face. "Oh, since we're trapped in here, I thought I'd never get to taste ice cream again!" She sounded like she was about to cry with joy.

Petula and Fannie looked at each other in disbelief. Was Sahari really about to cry over ice cream…?  
This room had a monitor too, and it turned on to reveal Pester wearing a shit-eating grin.

Sahari turned the machine on and glared up at Pester. "Can you… not? I'm sick of seeing that hideous mask of yours every time I look up!"

"Ahh, don't be rude, my darling little Sahari! You're going to hurt my fragile feelings!" Pester winked at her and she almost lost her appetite. "You guys need me to spout information, don't you? This is important!"  
"Well… I guess if it's important…" Fannie did her best to smile at Pester, but it was completely broken. As horrifying as he was, if Fannie got on his good side, maybe he'd give her a free pass if she slipped up!

"I like you, Frannie!" Pester beamed at her.

"F-Fannie… it's Fannie…" Fannie held up a shaky finger.

_ "YOU CORRECT ME, YOU DIE!"_ Pester's hand headed right for the button that was next to him and the three girls felt their hearts freeze.

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

Patch heard a firm knock on his door and jumped a bit, fumbling with the book he was holding.

"Juh-just a minute! I need to put on my shirt!" Patch grabbed his shirt from off his bed and pulled it over his head. It was awfully warm, so Patch was relaxing with one of the medical books Pester had put in his room and was trying to keep the heat out of his mind. He opened the door and nearly fell over when he saw who was on the other side. "Guh-Guh-Gretchen! What brings you huh-here?" Patch tried to lean against the doorframe coolly, but missed completely and fell over.

Gretchen snickered and Patch's face burned as he tried to scramble back to his feet. Why did he always embarrass himself in front of beautiful women?

"All accidents aside, I need to talk to you in private," Gretchen leaned forward, her voice a bit huskier than usual. Patch began to sweat really hard and wished it had been socially acceptable to answer the door with his shirt off.

"S-sure! Now?" Patch gestured for Gretchen to come inside.

"Not now," Gretchen shook her head. "I'm worried about a certain someone overhearing, since his room is right next door…" Gretchen lowered her voice to a whisper. "Meet me in the kitchen next to the dining hall at seven PM. We can discuss you-know-who then."

"Wh-why me?" Patch began sweating for an entirely different reason.

"You seem the most trustworthy and genuine out of everyone here," Gretchen caressed the cheek of Patch's mask, smiling warmly. Patch thought he would throw up and faint. He couldn't believe this… was she _flirting _with him?

Oh God, what if she didn't actually want to_ talk_ and had something else in mind? Was Patch ready? Maybe he _was_ ready…

"It's a date!" Patch smiled back at her, relieved that he didn't stutter.

"See you then," Gretchen sashayed back into the hallway elegantly.

Patch stumbled over to his bed and hugged his pillow, kicking his legs in delight.

_I can't WAIT for tonight!_

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

Pester's finger hit the button and an enormous tube came down from the ceiling over Fannie and completely trapped her. Petula and Sahari held each other in fear, shaking like crazy.

Suddenly, confetti came raining down all over Fannie and Pester began to laugh maniacally.

"H-huh?" Fannie had tears in her eyes as she looked at her confettied hands.

"It was a joke! I was kidding!" Pester pressed a green button and the tube retracted into the ceiling. "I can't resist messing with you girls! Your screams are just _so_ delightful…!" Pester wiped drool off of his chin.

"That's not funny!" Sahari yelled at Pester's image. "You're _sick!"_

"Well, it's not funny to _you,_ but it's a riot to me and my Ruffians!" Pester held out his arms. "Speaking of Ruffians, if you bastards ever want to make your own food and give my minions a day off, press that big black button over by the fridge! It'll let my Ruffians know that they can have a break."

"Wait… so one of those little gremlin things that killed Carrie… made our food yesterday?" Petula looked utterly horrified at the prospect.

"Not just one of them; all of them!" Pester beamed. "They might be stupid, but they know their way around a kitchen! They don't cook in here if that's what you're thinking; they cook in my own personal kitchen in my sanctuary and send the food down to where you are!"

"Don't tell me…" Petula looked like she was ready to vomit. "…that the meat we ate yesterday… was…"

"Carrie?" Pester grinned a sharp-toothed grin at Petula. "Don't be silly; I'm not _that_ cruel! A midget like him couldn't feed fifteen, after all! No, no, I've got his corpse frozen right here!" Pester grabbed the camera and moved it, revealing sixteen tubes all neatly lined up in a row. Each one had a different color and pattern on it and were labeled with the names of every last person who was stuck in his lair. Currently, the only one that was filled was a yellow and orange tube marked _CARRIE CHEWDINI._ Inside was the man himself, maskless, his dead, frozen face blue and bloated. His stab wound was in plain view and his arms were at his sides like a stiff soldier and his eyes were wide open.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Pester's voice sighed. "Hopefully I can fill up every one of these tubes! I'll put them together with my mask masterpiece and create one of the most spectacular pieces of evil artwork _ever!_ Oh, the forums are going to go _nuts_ over this!"

Petula couldn't take it anymore. She ran over to the sink and heaved over it, vomit pouring out of her mouth and splattering against the stainless steel.

"Eew, blegh!" Pester voiced his disapproval of Petula's sickness.

"There are _so many things_ wrong with you I don't even know where to _start!"_ Sahari barked at the screen. "So help me, if I see you again, I'm going to-"

"Oh, you're not going to do anything, Miss Sahari…" Pester put the camera down on the table and walked over to the tubes, approaching a green, orange, and tan one and caressing it. "If you did try to hurt me, well…" Pester bent down and tapped the tube's label. "This tube has your name on it!"

Sahari swallowed, her face paling. "I…" Sahari ground her teeth together and looked down at the floor. "I won't hurt you."

"That's a good girl," Pester leaned forward, his voice patronizing. "Now leave me to my plotting!" He snapped his fingers and one of the Ruffians pulled the camera's plug.

Petula wiped her mouth and turned on the sink, coughing. "Ugh… how does a person like Pester even exist…?" she said, her voice hoarse.

"He's twisted…" Fannie sobbed. "Displaying the masks was one thing, but displaying _corpses?"_

"I… I don't want ice cream anymore…" Sahari turned off the machine, her expression downcast.

The three girls left the room, not in the mood for any more exploring.

_VPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVPVP_

That night at about 7:45 PM, most of the girls (and Seedos and Sparcticus) were gathered in the dining hall, listening to Sahari talk about what happened earlier.

"Are you _serious?!"_ Seedos covered his mouth, his huge eyes bulging. "He's _displaying_ Carrie's dead body?!"

"And there's room for fifteen more…" Sahari hugged herself. "Each tube was custom designed for each of us."

Everyone went completely silent, stunned at Sahari's tale.

Sparcticus made his way over to Sahari and placed a hand on her shoulder, attempting to comfort her. "Sahari… we don't know if any of those other tubes will be filled. Under Gretchen's guidance, we should be completely safe."

"Why are you trying to make me feel better?" Sahari wasn't looking him in the eye. "I don't even know you…"

"That may be so, but I feel this weird… connection with you. Like we've met somewhere before this…" Sparcticus admitted, his cheeks darkening a little. "Sorry, that must sound weird…"

"No… no, it's strange, but…" Sahari made eye contact with Sparcticus, giving him a pale, broken smile. "I kinda feel that too."

"Oooh, what's all this?" Leafos grinned at Sahari and Sparcticus and earned herself a jab in the ribs from Storkos.

"Don't you dare think about that stuff now," Storkos hissed at her. "This is _serious!"_

"Sparcticus has a point!" Lottie nodded. "That Gretchen woman sure seems to know what she's doing! I'm sure we'll be completely fine and able to escape in no time!"

"Hear, hear!" Sahari pumped a fist into the air, feeling a whole lot better. Everyone followed her example and cheered.

"Thanks, guys, I'm not so scared anymore…" Sahari breathed a sigh of relief. "Say, how about we all-"

Sahari was cut off by an ear-splitting scream coming from the next room over.

"That sounded like Patch!" Leafos jumped to her feet and ran towards the door.

"What's going on?"

"Is he okay?"

"Murder, it's murder! Patch is dead!"

"Don't talk like that!"

Everyone arrived at the kitchen door and pried it open, immediately wishing they hadn't.

Patch was on his knees, tears rolling down his cheeks, practically hyperventilating.

In front of him was Gretchen, lying on her stomach, her masked face against the ground…

…in a pool of deep crimson blood.


	4. A Brief Investigation

"Oh my God!" Leafos covered her mouth, her blue eyes filling with tears as she looked at Gretchen's unmoving body.

Patch shook when he saw the crowd, wrapping his jacket around himself. "This whole thing is muh-making me feel so cuh-cold…" Patch buttoned up his jacket swiftly, his fingers barely fumbling.

"Please tell me she's unconscious…" Sparcticus said, biting his lip nervously.

"I-I-I duh-didn't check! I fuh-found her like this…" Patch crouched down next to Gretchen, gingerly moving her so she was resting on her back. Patch gasped when he saw her masked face; the swirls on her mask were gone and there was an enormous chunk missing from her mask, revealing a huge, bleeding cut on her swollen forehead.

Patch had an awful suspicion, but he placed his fingers on Gretchen's slender, cold wrist and waited.

Everyone in the room subconsciously held their breath as they waited for Patch's verdict. Patch suddenly gasped and sobbed, burying his face in his hands.

"Sh-she's…" Patch raised his head, his bangs shifting and exposing one bright red, tear filled eye. "She's _dead!"_

"Oooooh!" Everyone whipped around to see that Pester was actually in the room with them for once, a gigantic smirk on his face and his hands folded beneath his chin.

Sahari, who was right next to him, leapt away, holding her nose. _God, he smells like piss and alcohol!_

"Such a _shame_ she had to die so soon!" Pester dramatically feigned a faint. "She was absolutely gorgeous and I just _loved_ watching her!"

"You're _disgusting!"_ Sahari spat.

"Why thank you," Pester fluttered his eyelashes at her. "Anyway, I came here to tell you bastards that you should look over the room to see if you can figure out how she died, what the weapon was, and most importantly, _who_ killed her! Like I said before, there are no restrictions on your investigation, so go wild! Not to mention your cards automatically record all of the evidence. I'll let you know when it's time for the trial!"

With that, Pester took off, leaving everyone gaping after him. A few moments later, Pester's voice came over the intercom.

"Guess what, everyone? The body of Gretchen Fetchem has been found in the kitchen! You bastards oughta start investigating and trying to figure out who did it, or you'll _all_ get the axe!" After his brief explanation, Pester turned off the intercom.

Everyone swarmed into the room like Tafflies to rotten fruit, even Dastardos, who looked quite amused by the ordeal.

"So, we finally have a murder, huh?" Dastardos poked Gretchen with The Whacking Stick and she didn't even move. "Dead as a doornail! How exciting!"

"So that's why Gretchen wasn't at dinner…" Storkos tore at her pigtails. "I can't believe I let this happen and didn't try to find her!"

"Stop panicking, everyone!" Sahari boomed. "We won't get anywhere if we panic! We gotta figure out who did it, or…"

"… we're all dead…" Sparcticus said, dread in his deep voice.

Everyone nodded solemnly, the room becoming quiet.

"Petula, Fannie, check Gretchen's room," Sahari commanded, pointing at the door. "See if there's any evidence of her plans for today."

"Yes ma'am!" Fannie saluted, running off. Petula raised a suspicious brow and folded her arms.

"And who put _you_ in charge?" she snickered. "You don't exactly look too brainy. Maybe Seedos should lead the investigation." Petula looked over at Seedos, who promptly turned a shade of red that Sahari didn't think was physically possible.

"Y-you think I look smart?" Seedos looked down at his feet and shuffled them. Sahari rolled her eyes; she could practically see hearts over Seedos' head. There was just a _murder,_ for God's sake; this wasn't the time for lovey-dovey stuff!

"He doesn't have the balls to lead," Sahari jerked her thumb at her chest. "I have plenty of balls. Metaphorical ones, but still!"

"Fine, then," Petula hooked her arm through Seedos' and he looked like he would drown the entire room in his sweat. "You're coming with us, smart guy. You'll figure it out in no time!"

"O-o-o-okay…" Seedos spluttered as Petula led him out of the room.

"D-do you mind if I don't help with this investigation?" Eddie was trying his darndest not to look at Gretchen's corpse, but his eyes kept being pulled towards it. His face was turning a pale, sickly green. "I'm not good with blood or solving puzzles…I consider myself a smart man, but I'd only drag you guys down."

"Same here…" Sparcticus sighed. "I'm fine with blood, but…"

"Okay," Sahari huffed. "If you can't help, you don't have to. Hey, Lottie? Can you check Dastardos' room?"

"Wait, _what?"_ Dastardos protested.

"Did you forget what you said?" Sahari planted her hands on her hips and glared at the tiny reaper. "You said you wouldn't hesitate to kill any of us! That instantly puts you on the suspect list!"

"Fine, but you won't find much," Dastardos yawned. "I'm gonna do a comb over this place. I didn't do it, so I might as well try to prove that I didn't…"

With that, Dastardos flew through the wall and into the hallway.

"Why doesn't he just escape…?" Sahari thought aloud, looking at Sparcticus.

"Something tells me he's getting a sick thrill out of all of this…" Sparcticus shook his head."

"Back to business!" Sahari clapped her hands and whirled to face Leafos and Patch. "You two help me look around this room. Since this is where the murder took place, it must be LOADED with clues! Everyone else, split up and search this whole place! Meet back here in two hours!"

"We'll try…" Jeffe sniffed. "Why'd the hottest girl have to die first? Why…?" Sobbing, Jeffe waddled out of the room, followed by mostly everyone else.

Sahari, Leafos, and Patch were left alone.

"I-I can't believe this happened…" Patch seemed like he was ready to cry. "I-if only I had buh-been here earlier…"

"Oh, it's not your fault…" Leafos patted Patch on the shoulder. "Let's figure out who did it. That would make Gretchen happy, wherever she is."

"S-sure…" Patch swallowed, paling.

Sahari didn't blame him for going so pale. They'd all be forced to watch the execution of the murderer, after all, and knowing Pester, it won't be pretty at all.

Something gripped in Gretchen's dead hand was shining in the light. Sahari was so caught up in the body that she didn't even notice it! She ran over to the body and, after shuddering for a few moments, pried the object out of Gretchen's cold hand.

"What is that thing?" Leafos asked, covering her mouth.

"It's… it's a knife…" Sahari held it up so the others could see it. It was a long knife meant for chopping vegetables, but it was obviously not the intention Gretchen had in store for it. On the tip was quite a bit of fresh blood. "Blood… so she hurt someone with this…?" Sahari noted, turning the knife around in her hands. "But… why would she do something like that?"  
"Suh-self defense!" Patch cut in, looking pleased with himself. "Whichever sick buh-bastard attacked her didn't know what they were up against! Suh-so… she grabbed a knife and tuh-tried to fight back…" Patch shook his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Buh-but they got lucky…"

"Who… who would even attack someone who promised to protect all of us?" Leafos was shaking like a leaf. The idea of having a murderer living in the same building as her was too much to take…

"I can think of a couple people…" Sahari moved to Gretchen and carefully moved her mask aside.

"Sahari, duh-don't! That's disrespectful!" Patch protested, tears still streaming down his face.

"I need to get a better look at the wound, Patch!" Sahari sounded completely exasperated. She had never been faced with a murder before, and she told herself she wouldn't rest until she figured out who did it. They must be one sick bastard…

Sahari leaned forward and saw that there were two blood-encrusted, enormous bumps right next to each other on Gretchen's forehead. The smell of blood hit Sahari like a truck and she reeled backwards, holding her nose.

"Patch, can you tell what kind of wound this is?" Sahari stepped aside and let Patch look.

After a few seconds, Patch said: "I-it's blunt force trauma. Someone hit her tuh-twice, right in the forehead, and cuh-cracked her skull."

"Can you tell what they killed her with…?" Sahari asked.

"I-it was a club! Definitely! It must have been that Duh-Dastardos bastard-" Patch sounded so sure, but he was interrupted by Leafos.

"It wasn't a club."

Sahari and Patch turned to face her and found that she was holding a frying pan with two enormous dents on the bottom. Blood was stuck to those dents and the handle was a little bent. "I think I found our murder weapon."

"Ding ding DING!" Pester's booming voice filled the room and he appeared on the monitor. "You guys found the cause of death AND the murder weapon in no time flat! At this rate, you'll finger the murderer in no time!" Giggling, Pester put a hand over his mouth. "Oh my, I guess I should have worded that better! I'm such a dirty old man!"

"Wait… do you know who the murderer is?" Leafos asked, squinting at Pester's image.

"Oh, of _course_ I do, lovely Leafos!" Pester waved her off. "But if I just told you, all the fun would be taken out of this little game! It's up to you bastards to figure out who did it! I just press the execution button!"

"These… executions…" Patch tapped his fingers together nervously. "Wh-what exactly are they? Electric chair? Guh-guillotine?"

Sahari subconsciously stroked her throat, swallowing. Ever since she was little, she was utterly horrified of guillotines... ever since her stupid brother told her that heads are still alive for a few minutes after they get cut off, as the brain slowly suffocates and gradually dies more and more…

"No, no guillotines! That's so blasé!" Pester blew a raspberry.

Even though she knew it was terrible, Sahari couldn't help sighing with relief.

"I have a special punishment drafted for every single last one of you! Shame I had to throw out Gretchen and Carrie's…" Pester sighed and shook his head. "Oh well; you guys will get your minds _blown_ by my executions! They're all elaborate, crazy, and they suit the personality of the person dying so _well!"_ Pester folded his hands under his chin, his eyes sparkling. "You'll all be impressed, I'm sure!"

"No, we'll be _nauseated!"_ Sahari stomped her foot. "Are you really going to humiliate people in their last moments before they die?"

"Well, they're murderers, so they deserve it!" Pester shrugged.

"You're just as bad as they are," Leafos gave Pester the coldest glare she could muster.

"I _know,_ you don't have to constantly remind me how twisted I am!" Pester snickered. "You're going to make my ego _huge!"_

Sahari flipped Pester off again and he responded by pouting and turning off the monitor.

"I th-think…" Patch spoke up, still fiddling with his fingers. "…we should fuh-find the others and see what they have. We said we'd meet them later, but we have a cause of duh-death and a murder weapon!"

"I agree," Sahari nodded, glancing at her electronic ID card. After clicking through a few screens, she found a nasty close-up snapshot of Gretchen's wounds. "This'll help everyone know what type of person to look for. A stubby little person like Jeffe couldn't smash Gretchen in the forehead with a frying pan, that's for sure. We should call a meeting."

"Got that covered, babe!" Pester appeared on the monitor for one moment before his voice came over the intercom. "EVERYONE COME TO THE KITCHEN! SAHARI, LEAFOS, AND THE DWEEB DOCTOR FOUND SOME STUFF OUT!"

They didn't have to wait long. Everyone came trickling into the room at a steady pace, most of them with their hands empty. Strangely, Bear was holding a large chunk of dark hair.

"Bear found this in Lottie's room," Bear shot the older woman a look of disgust. "Why would you have Gretchen's hair?"

"Y-you must be joking!" Lottie smoothed her apron. "Someone must have planted it there! I don't go around taking chunks of peoples' hair for no reason!"

"Bear noticed you were absent from dinner," Bear tilted his chin up. "You, Dastardos, and Gretchen were all missin'! That puts _loads_ of suspicion on you!"

"I-I have an alibi!" Lottie stomped her foot.

Everyone began murmuring, some siding with Bear, some pointing fingers at Dastardos, and some blaming Bear himself!

"Hey, enough fighting!" Sahari shouted over the arguing crowd. "I need to tell you guys what we found!"

Sahari told them all about Gretchen's wound, as well as the frying pan they had found with the two enormous dents in it.

"Two dents, two bumps," Sahari gestured to the photo of Gretchen's wounds. "There's no way that's a coincidence."

"At least we have _suspects,"_ Storkos glared at Bear, Lottie, and Dastardos.

"Whaddaya glaring at Bear for?!" Bear frowned intensely.

"You have the hair, you could be trying to pin suspicion on someone else," Storkos shook her head. "Villains are all alike! Not to mention we have no idea _when_ she was killed. She could have been killed before dinner!"

Everyone made noises of agreement, apart from Bear, who paled significantly.

"B-Bear'll _prove_ it ain't him!" Bear roared, clenching his fist around the hair. "Bear said he wasn't gonna murder nobody, and Bear MEANT it!"

"We'll find out soooo-ooooon~!" Pester's voice sang. Everyone whipped toward the monitor to see Pester grinning there. "Oooh, you guys missed a few key pieces of evidence, but it's trial time! You have to make do with what you have! I have faith in you, but…" Pester sniggered. "I really hope I get to put everyone through their own personal execution machine!"

"Where is this trial place, you sick fuck?" Sahari ground her teeth. This was a matter of life and death and this douche was treating it like a game!

"Down at the end of the dormitory hall is an elevator," Pester nodded smugly. "Take that down and wait for me there. I need to grab Gretchen's mask and body and arrange them nicely in my art piece, and then I'll join you and we can begin!" With that, the screen went black.

Everyone made their way to the elevator, a heavy silence in the air. Looks of distrust were exchanged and hearts pounded with nerves as they rode the elevator down into the trial room.

This could mean the end for all of them if they got it wrong.

It was time for a trial of life and death.

_**14 PEOPLE STILL ALIVE**_


	5. First Trial, Part 1

In no time at all, the group found themselves in a courtroom. They all had their own podiums with their names on them. The ones belonging to Gretchen and Carrie had signs with their faces on them in their place, crossed out with a big bloody X. The room was a sober brown, the walls patterned with black. Bright lights lined the high ceiling, with a giant fancy chandelier in the center. Everyone's podiums were in a humungous circle so they could all look at each other. The room was stiflingly huge… the pressure was on.

Pester sat on a throne, high high up above the ground, a big red button in front of him and a powdered wig on his head.

"Are you ready, you bastards?" Pester leaned forward, smirking hugely. "It's time for the trial to figure out who murdered the lovely Gretchen Fetchem! Oooh, I can't wait to hear what you all have to say! Oooh, I so hope you'll get it wrong!" Pester giggled. "I'd love to put all of you in your special execution machines! Apart from the dummy that gets to get off scot free…"

"Wait…" Sahari put her hands on her podium and glared at Pester. "Are you implying you know who killed Gretchen?"

"Yes I do, my dear, but my lips are sealed!" Pester mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key. "I saw the whoooole thing on my cameras! But if I told you it would be too easy~!"

Sahari growled, gripping the podium so tightly her knuckles whitened.

"Now, let's get discussing!" Pester clapped his hands together.

"Bear _knows_ it was Lottie!" Bear waved around Gretchen's hair clump, a confident, dimpled smile on his face. "The hair in her room is a given! She's _dead!"_

"D-d-don't talk about me like I'm not here…!" Lottie stomped her foot. "I didn't kill Gretchen, and even if I did, I wouldn't have her hair in my room! Why would you take the hair of a dead woman?!"

"A trophy," Dastardos blew a rebellious lock of hair away from his forehead, a smug look on his mask. "You always struck me as the twisted type. You probably-"

"I… I…" Lottie nervously chewed on her nails. "I didn't do it! It wasn't a trophy!"

"So… you admit you took the hair?" Bear folded his arms.

"I can't believe you're carrying that around… gross gross gross gross…" Fannie gagged, shielding her eyes.

"U-um…" Seedos cut in. "I saw something in Gretchen's room."

"You did?!" Sahari's eyes widened. "What? Spit it out, kid!"

"During the investigation… there was a little bit of orange fabric on the floor…" Seedos reached into his pocket and produced it. "This matches Lottie's dress perfectly!"

"But why would it be in Gretchen's _room?"_ Sparcticus cut in. "Didn't she die in the kitchen…? That's where the weapon was."

"I… I have a confession to make!" Lottie professed, chewing on her nails. "Pester… Pester said he'd give me twelve million Chocolate Coins if I got DNA from Gretchen so he could grow himself a wife from it… it's sick, so I didn't want to tell you, but I couldn't say no to that money…! So, I snuck in her room and snipped it from her hair, but she woke up right away and grabbed at my dress! I ran out as fast as I could and I dropped my scissors…"

"That's DISGUSTING!" Bear tore the hair to itty bitty shreds, stepping on it and stomping it into dust. "Bear ain't letting something that sick happen!"  
"You asshole!" Pester slammed his hand on the side of his throne. "Now I'll _never_ have my dream wife!"

"Bear doesn't care," Bear sniffed, wiping his nose nonchalantly. "Bear isn't feeding that sick mind of yours."

"Okay, no hair, no money for Lottie!" Pester pointed at Lottie, who moaned and sobbed, burying her face on the podium.

"Hey, Pester…" Dastardos smirked up at him. "You do realize you can clone your dream wife from Gretchen's corpse, right?"

"Oh, what a wonderful idea!" Pester folded his hands under his chin, his acid green eyes sparkling. "I'll do that as soon as this wonderful event is over and all of you are gone from this Earth! I'm still not paying Lottie, though."

"Bear wishes he could wring your fat neck…" Bear growled under his breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Pester cupped his ear.

"Uh, Bear said 'That's sick, what the heck,'" Bear nodded, barely disguising his contempt. Threatening Pester wasn't worth risking death…

"Oh well, tangent over! Back to court shenanigans!" Pester watched with interest.

"Well, that's Lottie's alibi…" Sahari folded her arms, shaking her head. "Such a shame. If only we could finger the culprit that easily…!"

Pester burst into a giggling fit.

Sahari huffed. "What's so funny, you fat oaf?"  
"You said 'finger!'" Pester sniggered.

Sahari rolled her eyes and elected to ignore him. It was no use egging him on. "We need to figure out who went running off after dinner."

"Most of the men were gone…" Leafos observed, her expression sullen. "Apart from my little brother and Sparcticus… _any_ of them could have been the culprit!"

"Guh-Gretchen wanted me to meet her in the kitchen…" Patch shivered, thinking of her pale, bloodstained corpse. She had been so beautiful and strong… yet she was the first one to be killed! "I-I have no idea why she wanted to talk to me… she was duh-dead before we got the chance to speak…" Patch squeaked, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Dastardos huffed, slamming his podium. "GOD, get it together! A simpering loser like you would never get any girls!"

"Oh, and you would?" Maxime jabbed, resting a hand on her hip and smirking at the reaper, who was right next to her. Sahari couldn't help but be amazed; taunting _him_ while he was that close took some serious balls.

Dastardos leaned painfully close to Maxime's face and purred: "Girls _loooove_ bad boys."

Maxime growled and shoved him away. "Gross."

"You crazy kids can flirt later!" Pester made a face and waved them off like pesky Tafflies. "That is… unless one of you is the culprit!"

"Oooh, that's a hint, I bet! It must have been Maxime!" Fannie spoke up, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, she was probably _so_ jealous of Gretchen's beauty and the fact that the wonderfully handsome Patch was fawning over her! She just couldn't take it anymore and conked her head in!"

"You've got that wrong!" Sahari shouted, perhaps a bit too loud. "Maxime was _with us,_ you dummy! She never left the cafeteria, not even for a minute!"

"I really wanted seconds…" Maxime touched a finger to her chin, drooling a bit at the memory of dinner. "And thirds… Storkos is an excellent cook!"  
In spite of everything, Storkos blushed and waved Maxime off. "Oh, stop!"

"All of you are forgetting an important detail!" Sahari couldn't believe the tangents these idiots were going on. "Gretchen had a knife in her hand! With blood on it! She hurt someone in here!"

Everyone murmured to each other, their eyes wide.

"I can only think of one person who would attack an unsuspecting woman with no provocation…" Sahari turned her eyes onto that person and glared. "It could have only been _you!"_


End file.
